Jon Stewart is not any stranger to shows of political ardour, however tonight’s episode of The Day by day Present marked a brand new stage of enthusiasm: The comic smashed a porcelain prop cup with the phrases “World’s Most Dad” printed on them to the protestation (and bleeding) of his fingers.
“I’ll be going to the hospital quickly,” he stated, laughing and hiding his hand below the desk. The fervent gesture was made as Stewart blasted Elon Musk‘s non permanent contracted group, the Division of Authorities Effectivity, and its haphazard slashing of the federal government’s funds through untimely firings of federal staff, a major variety of which have since been reinstated to their posts.
“Yeah! F— you, man who checks water for applicable ranges of fecal matter! What are we speaking about?” a baffled Stewart requested. Dubbing Musk the “Nick Cannon of white folks” (in reference to each having fathered quite a few kids by totally different ladies), Stewart additionally mocked the X proprietor’s chainsaw show, as peer and former mentee John Oliver did yesterday.
Additionally calling out president Donald Trump‘s debunked claims that tens of millions of deceased people are profiting off of Social Safety cash, Stewart quipped: “We’re not paying tens of millions and tens of millions of useless folks Social Safety cash. And even when there was a 200-year-old man strolling round, he wouldn’t want Social Safety, he’d nonetheless be in Congress,” he stated, flashing pictures of Nancy Pelosi (84), Chuck Schumer (74), Mitch McConnell (83) and Charles E. Grassley (91).
All through the remainder of the section, Stewart pointed to other ways DOGE might handle bloated authorities spending, insisting that the crossbow was aimed within the improper route and will as a substitute be pointed towards conglomerates, quipping that “we dwell within the Upside Down” and negotiate badly with such entities like pharmaceutical firms, ensuing within the “worst Shark Tank deal in f—ing historical past.”
“Capitalism is, by definition, exploitative. It’s the way it operates. That’s high quality,” he said, “however then authorities’s position ought to be to ease the unfavourable results on Individuals of that exploitation, not subsidize that treachery with our cash. We’re getting f—ed at a Diddy occasion, they usually’re making us purchase the newborn oil.”
Stewart opined that true change would come when consideration was targeted on companies like Walmart and McDonald’s that “make billions” in tax-payer-subsidized earnings however whose staff nonetheless depend on tax-payer-subsidized public help.
“We’re subsidizing the very system that makes staff’ lives tougher within the first place, all within the title of freedom and liberty. However the biggest restriction of freedom on this nation isn’t DEI and pronoun stress, it’s f—ing poverty and wrestle,” he added.
At this level, the commentator held up his wrapped-in-tissue hand to survey it, he and the viewers each taking within the blood dripping alongside a number of fingers, main viewers to audibly gasps: “It’s high quality!” he laughed, taking it in stride as a consummate skilled.
Stewart closed up the present (and hopefully quickly his wound) by brainstorming a brand new acronym apart from MAGA for “a brand new age.”
Flashing on display to spell it out was the beginnings of “MANGIONE” in reference to alleged UHC shooter Luigi Mangione: “Make America Not Ruled In Clearly Detrimental—oh! Abort, abort, abort, I’m kidding, no vigilantes, however do one thing!”
Watch the section beneath:
