As a substitute of letting poisonous social media comparisons steal your pleasure, dealer Pam Blair writes, embrace what makes you completely different.
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“Comparability is the thief of pleasure.” — Theodore Roosevelt
It’s 6 p.m. I’m drained however blissful as I sink into my sofa. The aroma of selfmade pasta sauce lingers within the air. My canine and I took an extended, sunny stroll. Each activity on my calendar is checked off. It’s time to calm down.
Then, I begin scrolling.
Inside seconds, my temper plummets. A fellow agent twirls in glittering silver pants, celebrating her newest success. Abruptly, my good day feels … much less. Did I do sufficient? Am I sufficient?
Social media works at lightning velocity. A examine from MIT discovered that our brains course of photographs in simply 13 milliseconds. That’s how briskly comparability steals our pleasure.
The inevitable entice of comparability
Social comparability is hardwired into us. In 1954, psychologist Leon Festinger’s social comparability idea revealed our pure urge to guage ourselves towards others. In actual property — an trade constructed on relationships — this tendency is amplified.
There are two forms of social comparability:
- Upward comparability: these forward of us for inspiration.
- Downward comparability: these behind us to really feel higher about ourselves.
As a lifelong overachiever, I’ve spent years measuring myself towards one of the best and brightest. Typically, it fuels me. Different occasions, it drains me.
However as we speak’s world has modified the sport. Social media has made comparability unavoidable, usually distorting actuality and turning what might be motivation into self-doubt.
The darkish facet of social comparability
Social media offers us curated glimpses of others’ lives, not actuality. This fixed publicity can result in what psychologists name social comparability syndrome — or as some have coined it, obsessive comparability dysfunction.
Signs embrace:
- Low shallowness
- Nervousness and despair
- Envy and resentment
- Emotions of inadequacy
- Physique-image points
- Social isolation
Even should you’re not an enormous scroller, societal strain is in all places. So how will we preserve comparability from stealing our pleasure?
5 methods to handle social comparability
1. Follow the pause
Earlier than mindlessly scrolling, take a deep breath. Ask your self: Do I actually wish to go down this rabbit gap? A ten-second pause will help you make a aware selection somewhat than an impulsive one.
2. Restrict social media use
Consciousness is vital. Monitor how a lot time you spend scrolling. Set a timer if wanted. The purpose isn’t to remove social media however to regulate its affect in your mindset.
3. Be a creator, not only a client
I submit nearly day by day, however I restrict my scrolling to simply 5 posts. This self-discipline lets me interact with out being sucked into the comparability entice.
4. Follow gratitude
Comparability thrives on a not-enough mindset. Gratitude is the antidote. Write down three belongings you’re grateful for day by day. It shifts your focus from what you lack to what you could have.
5. Set targets, and rejoice wins
Clear, lifelike targets preserve you grounded in your journey — not another person’s spotlight reel. I create yearly, month-to-month and day by day targets, conserving a imaginative and prescient board close by for perspective. And after I hit a milestone? I rejoice — whether or not it’s a pleasant dinner or a brand new toy for my canine.
Personal your distinctive path
In an trade the place success is usually outlined by numbers, it’s straightforward to get caught up as compared. However actual property isn’t one-size-fits-all. The fantastic thing about this enterprise is that there are infinite methods to succeed.
As a substitute of letting comparability steal your pleasure, embrace what makes you completely different. Raise others up. Rejoice your wins. And bear in mind: Your journey is yours alone.
