Elon Musk and his supposedly 10x tech bro minions posture themselves as hardcore programming geniuses swooping in to save lots of the finances. Because it occurs, these dipshits can’t construct a useful web site.
Based on reporting from 404 Media, the official-looking DOGE.gov web site — the ostensible authorities web site that’s actually an X passthrough for Musk propaganda — has been sitting extensive open for anybody to push updates. You may simply go over there and make it say no matter you need. Don’t fear, it seems that they’ve received read-write entry to the complete federal authorities. Isn’t it going to be enjoyable when these guys rewrite NORAD so anybody can log in and blast out “DEFCON 1 — Baba Booey, Baba Booey.”
Do you are feeling protected but?
By itself, this could be humorous — yet one more instance of the severe, skilled professionals at DOGE working so quick and unfastened that they forgot to lock the entrance door. The edits individuals playfully added are largely innocuous, however let’s not lose sight of the massive image: that is an administration stuffed with unserious trolls pretending they know what they’re doing whereas making vital, reckless errors.
Conscious, demure, and so forth.
Don’t purchase it when the pliant mainstream media characterize Elon Musk’s DOGE shenanigans as some form of aggressive audit. An audit is a meticulous, skilled endeavor that might take months and finish with a prolonged report mapping out federal spending with an intensive understanding of the domino results that any change might set off. In contrast it is a sport of outsized Jenga down on the hipster bar… besides with the foundations of Pax Americana.
Musk spent the complete week leveling unhinged vitriol in opposition to Choose Paul Engelmayer for issuing a TRO delaying DOGE for — checks notes — LESS THAN A WEEK. They’re frothing on the mouth about impeachment and it’s not even a everlasting injunction! Within the phrases of Brian Windhorst…
As a result of this isn’t an audit, it’s a speedrun. Musk and his band of merry tweebs dwell in a online game world and it exhibits. Lonely teen nerds working a macabre reverse pace courting service making individuals interview to not be laid off and discover Love within the Time of Cholera by bringing cholera again. The speedrun mindset is all about attending to the end line irrespective of how a lot violence it does to the sport itself. It’s why the speedrun neighborhood is rife with individuals making an attempt to make use of cheat codes and why Musk retains making an attempt to warp by the partitions of a number of statutes.
Determining a speedrun includes loads of reckless trial and error. Usually the one consequence is having to hit reset. This time it’s dropping America’s standing as the worldwide reserve forex. Potato, po-tah-to.
DOGE’s incompetence is extra characteristic than bug. One among its boy geniuses publicly posted about utilizing random, unvetted AI algorithms to transform large quantities of knowledge elevating the specter of an information breach of epic proportions. Then it appears they went forward and did that with Division of Schooling information.
Cybersecurity ought to be the most popular tech subject for attorneys in 2025. After I mentioned that just a few months in the past, the brand new administration had already dedicated to beginning a commerce battle with America’s most technologically superior adversaries whereas concurrently threatening to ditch the worldwide cyber regime, slash the Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Safety Company, and put Kristi Noem in at Homeland Safety regardless of being the one governor who turned down FREE cybersecurity cash. Even I hadn’t contemplated that they’d begin futzing with the complete stockpile of confidential authorities data. It’s solely a matter of time earlier than they wander into the DOJ’s methods, jeopardizing ongoing felony investigations by blasting out a sick meme about Large Puss carrying a wire.
Get pleasure from a long time of litigation, gang!
The charitable studying is that these dorks constructed an simply hacked publicity web site as a result of they’re SO BUSY on the necessary stuff. Maybe. However provided that DOGE’s expensive chief can’t cease Tweeting out each thought that crosses his addled mind it’s onerous to imagine this web site was a low precedence. It’s more likely that these hardcore coders are both not as preternaturally expert as they wish to posture or that their refusal to take half a second to verify their work routinely leads to large cock ups. Or each.
Both approach, it’s not precisely comforting that the individuals with entry to the complete federal authorities can’t even arrange a fundamental web site.
Anybody Can Push Updates to the DOGE.gov Web site [404 Media]
Joe Patrice is a senior editor at Above the Legislation and co-host of Considering Like A Lawyer. Be happy to e-mail any ideas, questions, or feedback. Observe him on Twitter or Bluesky if you happen to’re inquisitive about regulation, politics, and a wholesome dose of faculty sports activities information. Joe additionally serves as a Managing Director at RPN Government Search.
